My make-up is my mask. Everyday I put it on, deciding who I want to be. Shall I have smoky eyes with red lipstick? Or shall I go for the 'natural' look with nude shades? Either way, I do not leave the house unless I have put on foundation, blusher and mascara - at least. Say I oversleep in the morning and my son is running late for the childminders, do I throw on a pair of jogging bottoms and rush out the house sans make-up to make sure he gets there on time? No. I will be 20 minutes late rather than have a naked face.
So, in my own inimitable style, if it's not easy, if it's a challenge, i will impose it on myself. This week I am mostly going without makeup.
Monday: I got my son to the childminders on time (!) and go for a coffee with my sister-in-law. She mentions how tired I look. And I do. I have very dark circles under my eyes, always have. A makeover lady one one of those posh department stores asked if I had Asian blood in my family as my circles were so dark. Also I am quite pale. Not 'pale and interesting' pale, but 'my god! are you okay?' pale. It came in handy at school. All I had to do was not wear make-up and I could quite easily get away with going home 'ill'.
On Monday I also went to see Britney Spears in concert at Wembley Arena with my sister. It's one thing pottering around the local high street without make-up but it is quite another to venture out to a teeny-bop concert showing your wares! Luckily it was so dark and people were more concerned about whether their schoolgirl skirt was short enough to really care about my face. And then it struck me - people DON'T care. It's just me. I'm the one who cares. People are too busy going about their own business. Of course, this is me walking around in the dark so it's easy to say!
On the plus side, my sister said my skin looked clear!
Tuesday: Totally loving the time it takes to get ready in the morning! And if the kids wake before I have finished getting ready, so what? I no longer have to fear Charlie smearing my lipstick over his eyes while I am otherwise distracted. This was an odd day. My husband fell down the stairs with baby Max in his arms and once he had passed the baby to be he collapsed and started to fit. I called an ambulance and he was taken to A&E (more of that later - he's fine now) so the fact that I picked my son up and then walked to the hospital without make-up didn't seem so important.
Wednesday: Husband can't be alone in the house so haven't walked out the front door.
Tomorrow I have a children's birthday in the morning and then a playdate in the afternoon. I am not afraid to say that I am not looking forward to doing either of them so.... so exposed. To be honest, I am not sure what I am trying to achieve with this latest plan of folly. To loosen up a little, maybe? To find an inner confidence? To be able to face the world without my mask? Either way... here goes...